“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband." - Ephesians 5:31-33
Did you get your wife her chocolates and card and teddy bear and flowers? If you did, why? What is your motivation? Where did you learn to do this?
Well, the correct answers are always found in Scripture, so did you get your instruction and motivation from there or from somewhere else? The verses above reveal God's commands regarding how a Christian household is to operate. I hope yours operates in the way these verses outline. What a blessing it is to live in a home where God is honored through the husband's sacrificial love for his wife and the wife's humble respect for her husband. He doesn't bully her and isn't lazy. She doesn't manipulate him or nag him to no end. What characterizes such a home is mutual love and respect. Preferring the other over self. This kind of loves flows out of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
Yes, there will be disagreements. There will be moments, maybe even seasons of frustration. This is to be expected from time to time and doesn't necessarily indicate an unhealthy relationship. If the verse, "Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another" (Proverbs 27:17) is true, then how much more sharpening can be accomplished inside a home where the two are no longer two, but one? Now that's alot of opportunity for sharpening! Ideally, as you grate and grind against one another, the "filings" that are being removed are making you sharper. More and more like Jesus!
So, sir, if you must buy treats for her today, then go ahead and do it. But, for the sake of the glory of God, do it according to Scripture. May everything you do for her be done for her eternal good. Give up every superficial thing, if necessary, in order to shepherd your wife's soul toward her True Shepherd. Sometimes she won't like it. That's ok, you probably wouldn't either. But don't let that stop you. You will give account to God for this, so fear Him and not her. Love her. Actively. Thoughtfully. Faithfully. Sacrificially. Ask God for His help. This prayer is according to His will and it will be answered.
Ma'am, if you want to give a material gift to your husband today, feel free. Just do it out of a humble heart that wishes to honor God in this, your most intimate and precious relationship. Do this by showing your husband that you genuinely trust him and that you will follow him. Then allow him to lead without resistance. I believe that you will find that you appreciate his leadership and will be relieved that the weight of responsibility has fallen off your shoulders. That burden was never yours to carry. It was his. You took it upon yourself. That very well may be why you are stressed to the max and your relationship is less satisfying than it should be. God didn't build you to lead, but he did build your husband to. So don't feel bad about this burden being placed on your husband. God made him capable of carrying that weight, so let him have it...and help him!
Lastly, but most importantly, the relationship between husband and wife is a visible picture of the relationship between Jesus and His bride, the Church. He loves us sacrificially and we are to love Him submissively. A godly marriage paints this glorious picture of the Gospel for the world to see. So get to painting, you artists!
And don't forget this...dark chocolate beats milk chocolate every time!
Pastor Jeremy
